The BigFellas Guide to... Fashion?

Okay, so before the raging guffaws begin, NO I DID NOT WRITE THIS!  If anything I have a better chance of playing a victim of a fatal tie and belt matching error (yes, that was a drawn out way of calling myself a fashion victim) on CSI than I do of ever, ever really knowing all that much about fashion suggestions for a BigFella.  Trust me on this one.  I'm so bad off that after my divorce a female friend went through my wardrobe, left for a few minutes, then came back with a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy book and a trashbag.  Yeah, it was that bad.

 

Instead of attempting this travesty on my own, I've enlisted some help from my friend LeighAnne who, earlier in her writing career, did the fashion magazine "thing" and just happened to retain an interest over the years.  What she's done is put together some general suggestions for all of us and hopefully we'll all be able to find something we can use.  My assignment to her was simple:  write up a basic set of fashion tips for large men 5'7" and taller (believe it or not under 5'7" makes a difference).  The tips should be simple, easy to remember, and should make sense to your average straight guy (not being exclusionary, just honest - gay men are for the most part born knowing this crap).  The goal is to help some of us look generally more acceptable, not be fashion geniuses.

 

Here's her response:

 

FASHION HINTS FOR THE BIGFELLA

 

1.  First, take a hard look in the mirror. 

Do this both literally and metaphorically.  Literally to accept the body you've got, not the one you'll have in six months of "crushing it at the gym."  Clothes don't shrink that much dear.  One of the first steps to dressing well is to accept the skin you're in, so to speak.  Muscle or fat, you're a big dude so deal with it.  Metaphorically to accept who you are.  If you're comfortable in jeans and t-shirts you probably don't need to own a tuxedo.  Blue collar guys don't need white collar wardrobes, although the same isn't necessary so in reverse.  Also, while you're at it, take a look at your underwear.  You are wearing some, right?  Good.  Now for the hard question: what are you wearing? If the answer is tighty whities, please stop letting your mother buy your unmentionables hon.  Repeat after me: boxer briefs.

 

2.  Destroy the time machine that is your closet.

Tough love time.  If it doesn't fit, you haven't worn it in years, or you bought it more than five years ago, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET RID OF IT.

 

3.  Get real about your job.

The old rule of thumb is to dress for the job you want, not the one you have.  That holds very true unless you build houses all day and dream of a job in high finance.  Your work clothes should fit in with your job seamlessly.  Don't be the guy who comes on a job site in dress pants, or the guy who wears flip flops to a board meeting.

 

4.  Stick with basics.

Unless you are gifted with a fashion forward mate or the budget for a personal shopper, please don't buy into trends.  Repeat after me: solid colors, small patterns.  The larger the pattern, the smaller the frame it was intended for.  If you don't believe me, ask a certain 6'9" friend of mine who came to one of my parties in a large blue and white checkerboard shirt circa 2004.  He was the largest Kansas picnic blanket I've ever seen.

 

5.  Don't cut yourself in half / Don't overmatch

If you're going to take the risk of wearing one color head to toe (i.e. black shirt and pants), please make sure they are the same tone and not faded.  New black dress pants and your favorite old black golf shirt are not going to look good together, I promise.  Also, don't wear a light belt with dark colors or a dark belt with light colors.  You're a big guy and you're going to essentially draw a line across your body (as in a magician was sawing you in half). 

 

6.  Find a fashion role model

This one may backfire on me but here goes: find a celebrity whose personal style you admire.  The caveat should be that their style should at least somewhat match your own personal joie de vivre.  For example, if you're not an NBA player, they may not be the best fashion template.  There are some NFL players that keep it within reason though, and a lot of music stars as well.  Check out Toby Keith and Trace Adkins when they're not doing their on stage redneck act.  Those guys are huge and still look fairly well put together.

 

7.  Find a tailor

Yeah, this one is going to hurt as well.  Most men don't want to bother with a tailor because they feel like it makes them fussy.  Hon, this is simple.  Off the rack looks off the rack, even moreso on a big guy because the larger you are the fewer things are actually made for you.  I have a friend that is a bodybuilder who has all of his dress shirts custom made because he simply cannot find a shirt made off the rack that will fit his arms.  The other great thing about a tailor is that they can make little adjustments fairly inexpensively that will make off the rack look custom.  Also, the best thing about a tailor is they can write down your CORRECT MEASUREMENTS on a little card you can keep in your wallet so you don't have to guess at XXL or XXLT or whatever. 

 

8.  Be willing to start in small stages.

No one can afford a total wardrobe overhaul right now, but do little things along the way.  Buy all new socks this month, new underwear next month, etc.  Buy one good suit (black or navy please) if you don't wear them regularly.  Buy two pairs of jeans that fit you correctly(!!!) and learn to not dry them in the dryer! Buy an iron and learn how to use it.  Buy two new tees and throw four out.

 

9.  Part with logos.

Some clothing was meant to be worn with a large emblem on the chest, aka The Polo Shirt.  However, not everything is meant to be emblazoned with the manufacturer's logo, that is unless you enjoy looking like a walking billboard.  Under Armour is awesome stuff, but is it so great that you will gladly pay them for the privilege of advertising for them?  Just food for thought. 

 

And the most important of all my hints...

Remember this among all else...

This will save your ass every time...

10.  Know where to shop for you!

You're a big guy.  You worked hard in some form or fashion to get that way.  There was a lot of weight or beer curled to get those big arms of yours.  Do you really think WalMart buys for people like you?  Get online.  Do some research.  Ask your friends who are not sartorially challenged (that means they have nice clothes).  I did a little digging myself and here's what I found for stores that cater to larger men:

Macy's  -  JC Penney  -  Big and Tall (much better choices than they used to have) - Joseph A. Bank   -  Target (if you're careful)  -  Duluth Trading Company (extra long shirts are a must)  -  Carhartt  -  Dickies  -  Sears (if you absolutely must)  -  Military Surplus (heavy duty stuff for cheap, and honestly, what man doesn't need to own a field jacket)

 

I hope that helps you out a little guys.  Enjoy!

I Pick Things Up and Put Them Down

by Brian Pittman

If you'll remember back to one of the opening posts for this blog, we posed the question of what actually is a BigFella?  Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to tell you that answers to that particular question have been kicked around more than a big shiny soccer ball on the floor of the special kids classroom. 

 

One of the founding tenets of this blog is that we want to make it about all things of, by, and for large men that aren't necessarily readily available through other outlets.  For example, we probably won't spend a huge amount of time discussing football right now because that's how most of us spend our freetime in the fall anyway, but we will tell you not to bother buying warm up pants at Soffee if you've ever spent anytime at all developing your legs.  (Couldn't get the biggest size they carry in store over my calves much less over my knees - being large is a beautiful thing sometimes...)

 

After a lot of consideration, my workout partner Brandon Stoops and I decided to go ahead and post our current workouts online.  Why are we doing this?  Well for one we're in desperate need of content but mainly a large number of men spend a lot of time in the gym without any focus or direction and we thought that we'd share what little we know along the way.  Not to in any way say we're some kind of fitness geniuses, in fact we're far from it, but since this site is all about sharing information and ideas we figured we'd put it out there for general consumption or ridicule.

 

 

GRIZZLY BEAR

 

SILVERBACK

 

 



A few caveats etcetera before you begin:

 

1) Please don't start any workout program without consulting a physician.

 

2) Neither Brian Pittman or Brandon Stoops are certified personal trainers and while the workouts posted on this site are for information and entertainment purposes, they may not be right for you individually.  Seek professional guidance if necessary.

 

3)  Please use weights that you can handle.  The gym is no place for an ego trip.  These workouts tend to be on the rough side with a lot of compound movements and heavy weight.  BEING STUPID WHILE WORKING WITH WEIGHT CAN AND WILL GET YOU HURT SO DON'T DO IT!

 

4) These workouts are designed to focus on functional strength.  They tend to focus more on the power lifting side of things than bodybuilding.  They will not make you any prettier, we promise.

 

5)  If you are working out regularly already but are not supplementing with protein, we highly recommend doing so during these workouts.  Your body will thank you. This does not mean, however, that you run out and become a supplement monkey.  As with everything else, ask a pro to teach you what you need to know before you mortgage your house to pay your GNC bill.

 

6)  The workouts are designed to run in six week cycles with a week off in between to rest and recover / test maxes / etc.  We cannot stress this enough: OVERTRAINING WILL GET YOU INJURED FASTER THAN ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF BEING A MORON.

 

7) You need a trainnig partner. Deal with it. Unless you enjoy being that guy with a barbell on his chest screaming for help, it might be time to make a friend or two.

 

8) As with anything else, you will only get out of these workouts what you put in, period. 

9) Hopefully this goes without saying but these workouts will make you sore and tired.  If you are so sore that you have trouble moving, you may be using too much weight.  Back off a bit and get your eight hours each night. 

10) Recovery time is critical.  Five days a week is plenty, trust us on this one!